Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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