there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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