Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
