and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize