I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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