I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
