Slut skills are useful in every country.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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