i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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