fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
