You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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