Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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