So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
