Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
