Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
