We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
