He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
