Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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