we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
