Me too!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
