You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
