just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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