i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
