Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
