he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
