I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
