he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
