Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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