who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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