We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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