He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
