I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
