Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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