a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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