are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize