I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
