You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
