I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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