I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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