I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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