I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Never joke about your clitoris.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
