Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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