wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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