your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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