I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
