All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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