no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
