I need help removing her.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
