you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
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