It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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