Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
