I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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