I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
