dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
