so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
