She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
