dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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