he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
