He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
