addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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