Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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