A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
