Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
