the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
