the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
