I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
